Oooo BABY I LIKE IT RAW!

After my fateful first performance, the delectable Paul Ash approached me and said "You know, I think you would be perfect for the dirty show." What a compliment! As it turns out, I am in Windsor visiting the family on the day of the show so I couldn't make it. Damn! First I miss Sugar Sammy, now I'm missing "the dirty show!" I think I'm cursed. Curse-ed I tell ye! However, Blue Monday IS happening CE SOIR, hosted by Paul Ash himself, and it promises to be NASTY!

CONCERNING VULGARITY
I don't know how other people live, but me? I'm foul. I openly laugh at taboos, anything sacred and just pure nonsense. I believe that the psychological function of comedy is to reduce stress levels and social anxiety, as is clearly demonstrated in the nervous laugh. If someone falls down in public, you will hear a few laughs amid the sympathetic awwwws. Or the laugh of indignation, Ha! That's preposterous! But a really good gut busting laugh is what I'm talkin 'bout here! And the function of said laughter is the same, only a megatrillion times more powerful.

We want to laugh, HARD, at our own discontents. A joke that really touches the soul is one that reveals hidden truths, the unspoken and common knowledge of life's absurdity. Also, the dark crevasses of human nature that crave debauchery and destruction. These are the jokes that make us laugh until we cry. Bodily functions, sexual reproduction and violence are not funny as such; but ain't it funny how much of our daily laughter is derived of them? I even love that feeling when you don't want to laugh cause its too foul, but you know you re still smiling on the inside!!!!! I don't believe in repression  in any capacity, not feelings, or ideas and certainly not laughter!

So its OK to laugh people! No one is being harmed by a little indulgence of the darkness. Think of all the psychological benefits you will reap! Hard laughter scales away the layers of resentment (from the metro, bixies and livin  enough for the city). You will feel a sense of community as you share in and totally agree with  some basic human truths. And just hearing all of that filth will prevent you from accidentally blurting out a repressed word during a turkey dinner with the kids. I vote yes! for vulgarity!

Tonite is the night! Your portal to the comedic underworld is KATACOMBES. Appropriate to your headliner, Devil Dan Derkson. I would especially want to see Trevor Forestell get crazy! I hope the comics get real loose and heal the whole audience!!!!!

It's May 30th, 8:30 pm. 1635 St. Laurent, $10 (I probably should'nt post this all over the internet, but if you read this blog you deserve it! Mention my name at the door and tickets are two for one!!!!!)

As for me, I will be stuck in Windsor, literally watching the tadpoles become frogs. City people, eat your heart out!

WE ASKED TREVOR FORESTELL

NAME

 Trevor Forestell, It's pronounced like Chappelle, except  fuck yo' love seat.



STAGENAME

I don’t have one, that’s my real name. It’s common to change their name or shorten it up a little bit cause a lot of people have names like Artakius Artakustopolous, and it’s hard to pronounce that shit! If I ever changed my name it’d be Trevor Everest.



 WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS CALL YOU?

Asshole.



 WHAT DO YOU CALL YOURSELF, LIKE A TITLE?

(he misunderstands me and hears:) The big twizzle??? (laughs in pure disgust) That’s ridiculous. No, I don’t have a title.



 SIGN?

Cancer.



HOMETOWN

Montreal. NDG, born and raised.


WHAT IS YOUR DAY JOB?

 I’m a technician for Mercedes Benz Canada, (it’s true, he has the fat ride to prove it)



 How long HAVE you been in the game?

 A little over 3 years now. March 2008



 How did you start out?

 As a kid I was a cellist and I did a lot of other things in the arts but I was attracted to comedy. I used to go in and watch the shows a lot then a friend of mine, Joey Elias, did a comedy class at The Nest. I called him up and was like dude, I don’t know how to get started. When I got to the class it was like why haven’t I already been doing this? I should have done this a long time ago. I already knew a lot of comics as friends so I got started relatively quickly.



WHERE WAS YOUR FIRST TIME?

 At that class. The next Monday I was doing comedy at the Comedy Works. The day after that I did it at a place called The Next Door in NDG. At the time John Hasting’s was running a room there with Paul Baluyot. I started to do it up to 4 times a week, and I’ve been doing it like that since.



 What makes you funny?

 I’m not that humble of a person so I have no problem answering that question. (kidding) I really am a bit of an asshole. I’m not a shtickish comedian. I hope to be a comedian that is unique. I try to write more cerebral stuff. I’m analytic, studying how people react, not just for the shock value.



 Best thing about being comedian?

 The chicks! Noooo…there’s no chicks. The best thing is being able to express yourself, like when you have a shit day. You can turn it around and make a good joke out of it and you get instant gratification.



WHAT’S THE WORST?

 The game yo. Egos and animosities.



 IF YOU WERE STRANDED ON A DESERT ISLAND WITH ONLY ONE OTHER COMEDIAN, WHO WOULD IT BE?

 God you know it changes every week. This week? Norm Macdonald. He’s just great.



 IF YOU COULD BRING ONE COMEDIAN BACK FROM THE DEAD (TO BONE) WHO WOULD IT BE?

 Richard Pryor. I just want to do the drugs with him and write jokes.



WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COMEDY CLUB AND WHY?

 Absolute Comedy club in Ottawa, There’s like 300 people on a Wednesday night, who laugh at everything you say. They laugh hard! I’ve seen a dude in the front row with snot bubbles coming out his nose! People knocking over drinks and shit, cause their laughing so hard.



 What is your ultimate career goal?

 To be the funniest comedian I can be. To be able to live off my words. I like to be able to make fun of things and speak my heart but I want those jokes to have meaning.



 WHAT IS A FUNNY WORD?

Catapult, flamethrower, shyster, loser. That’s ones a classic. Funny word, loser. Any way you use it.



 What is funny?

 Everything, I can see the humour in everything.



 What is not funny?

 Unhappiness, Life is what you make it and if you have a good spirit, the world speaks to you. It’s all about choice.



 Do you have any advice for newbies?

 Do it as much as you can


(I tell him about my 2^nd show, and inability to time myself)

 Yeah, in the beginning it seems like it goes by really quick, you’re so eager to get stuff out. It takes a long time before things start to settle down. After a year of doing it a lot you’ll see. The more you hone it the better you get. You’ll always forget to say this or it will come out faster than you wanted it to. But one day you will have a set and it seems like time slows down, your jokes are going to come out in auto pilot and the show is going to happen.



WHAT IS YOUR COMEDIC PHILOSOPHY?

 Work hard, stay humble and show love before you expect to get love.

N-BOMBS FROM WHITE PEOPLE

So Julian and I were kickin' it comedywise the other night when the un-funniest thing happened! We were at a club that will go unnamed for dignity's sake, when in walks a big old loud ass white chick with the most abused lookin' skinny black dude you ever did see. You all know what I'm talking about!!! I'm not trying to reinforce stereotypes here but there are some people on this earth that just is what they is. Ya dig? No, she didn't have hoop earrings, fake nails or any other accoutrements you might expect. She did however seem to have the biggest beef with her boyfriend. He was so drunk, he was like a fighter who having lost steps out of the ring weaving and wobbling. She kept bitching at him and we all quickly perceived that the impending doom of having to get up on THAT night after night, would cause any many to drink in mass quantities.

At about the middle of the show, here comes hefty settling in behind us with a drink in her hand while her tragic counterpart remains at the bar. The host, who it must be noted is dark of complexion, seeing this begins to bate this woman. I believe it started with "Look at you, you look soooo happy!" to which she replied "Look at YOU, you're a fine motherfucker!" At this point, anyone who had seen that drama walk through the door was probably dry heaving in their throats as I was.

Then he said "I see you got yourself a black man." The answer she gave? You bet! "Yeah, I'm dating a N@gger!" Like all loud and  shit! She then whips her head round to her victim and continues "Yeah you, you lazy n@*#^r !!!!blah blah blah.....something about leaving half drunk pitchers at the bar?????" The cringing was unbearable!!! I don't know how the rest of the room reacted because I was so ashamed I didn't want to make eye contact with another living soul. The host was, what can only be described as, DISTURBED and I'm not sure he knew quite how to handle it. I finally begged him to tell me some jokes because that shit wasn't funny at all. The following comedians killed it and we all laughed harder because we needed it. Eventually the drama left out the back terrasse but continued on steadily.

Now here is my judgement! Hear this! And don't give me any bleeding heart shit about not judging people. If you want to bring your personal drama out into public, fucking up the whole vibe, then you make your business my business and I am heartless like Donald Trump when it comes to my business. Now it didn't seem befitting to get into it with this broad therefore I air this grievance the geek way.

I am deeply offended big fat white lady!!!!!! I don't care how many black people you think you are friends with, how much you love Bob Marley or how many times you been run through, you CANNOT say that word. You may get away with n!gga, nyuga or even add 'my knickers' to the end of a sentence for no reason at all, but you cannot say THAT word. There is something about the 'er' that is like a serated knife, it cuts so deep.  It reminds me of my best friends mom, as a white bystander, when she shouted that word with the extra 'er',  I knew she was in real big trouble! You know if one black person calls another by that name, it's bad. You have to respect that this word above all other dirty words has a historical legacy so profoundly traumatic it cannot adequately be countered with such lame terms as cracker, honky or pinky...though pinky is kinda harsh.

Furthermore, you snafarglamammatron, you give all of us a bad name because you cant love another human being while objectifying them with such words. You add one more tick in the column for 'white chicks who date black guys because they wish they were black.' And if you think you can just assume another persons racial identity because you rub your bacons together, think again! You can sympathize all you want but you will never know the dark truths. Infact your racist tirade pretty much ensures your complete ignorance to the whole point of unity and mixing. That shit may be acceptable in your trailer or overpass or wherever you crawled out of but its not cool to me.

I give this a 5/5 for sending us back to the stone age one drunken domestic at a time.

NON a l'homophobie!

I love graffiti and what the man would deem 'vandalism'. It really floats my boat when it is cleverly done and makes you think. I spotted this little gem on the way home one night. I was in Berri-Uqam metro where a certain company has many, many ads featuring some very sultry, lithe and long-legged young things in shorts. I hadn't really delved into the semiology of the adverts, tuning them out as I do but this sticker made me stop. Well, the fact that someone had gone all the long of the corridor trying to rip them off.

At first glance it is a sticker that says NON! A L'HOMOPHOBIE! WWW.... something, I don't know because it was ripped out! But if you examine the way this child of probably 10 or 12 is holding this large phallic microphone in her childlike hand, so close to her happily parted lips, it hits you, BAM! This under ripe beauty is exactly the refuge of the homophobe whose attitude is merely "If this doesn't turn you on then you must be gay!" It is also the unrealistic ideal to which all women are subject under this heterosexual patriarchy. It may not be funny but its clever. We give this 4/5 laughs for revealing the truth behind the message in one quick slap of a sticker.

WE ASKED MORGAN O'SHEA

NAME/ STAGENAME?

Morgan O’Shea,

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS CALL YOU?

Morgan, mostly Mo.

WHAT DO YOU CALL YOURSELF?

Morgan, it’s a solid name, it’s a solid name all around.

WHAT IS YOUR TITLE?

A work title? I’m still learning. I’m not really a comic yet. It takes like a decade to become a comic;. Larry David and Ricky Gervais did this interview once where they both agreed that you can’t be funny until you’re at least 30.  So I got 3 more years.

What’s your sign?

Virgo

WHAT'S YOUR HOMETOWN?

I was born in Edmonton but I was raised in Calgary. I came out here for comedy. I figured Montreal is the comedy capital of Canada, which isn’t true by the way! I found that out later, and by that time I just love it too much to leave.

WHAT'S YOUR DAY JOB?

I work in a collections department for a shady telemarketing company, it’s very unfulfilling.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN THE GAME?

It will be 4 years in August.

HOW DID YOU START OUT?

I always wanted to do it. I lived in Medicine Hat for a bit with my aunt and that’s when I first started actually writing jokes and coming up with ideas. My self-consciousness,  my insides were like you’re not funny! My girlfriend at the time set it up. I did my first open mike on my birthday, in Calgary. The club I think it was called Dickens

TELL ME A FUNNY WORD 

I’m sure someone has said it before but mayonnaise shake, it’s what white people drink. I did a joke about getting robbed by a black guy and lying to the police because I like black people so much. “Yeah it was a white guy,  really white, blond hair blue eyes, he was drinking a mayonnaise shake, off to pay his taxes.” I was laughing about that at work today, like ”Morgan you’re so awesome…mayonnaise shake.”  

IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT MAKES YOU FUNNY?  

I’m funny because I can make people laugh, I just always have. My dad would get mad at me, I would just say something funny and he’d forgive me. He could never stay mad at me.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Everything. Hanging out with my friends. I live with Kris next to George, behind the club so there’s always comics stopping by.

WHAT IS NOT FUNNY?

Nothing! You can make the worst thing funny, that’s the whole point of comedy, that’s what we try and do! Look, even that brick over there is funny, because someone might have died building it. It’s kind of funny, maybe there’s orphans trapped in it, I dont know! Horrible things are definitely funny.

WHAT'S THE BEST AND WORST THING ABOUT BEING A COMEDIAN?

The best thing is going out there and just killing a room, being good and making the whole crowd laugh. That’s the best. The worst thing is charity shows, because you don’t get payed.

DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE COMEDY SPOT?

Now that the loft is over, I’d say the (comedy) Works is the best comedy room in the city, just cause it’s a small intimate venue, low ceilings. When it's capacity, it's 200 people but it feels like 500. It’s a real comedy club, like in New York.

WHAT IS YOUR BEST OR WORST TIME ON STAGE?

Well I pretty much killed it at UNDERCOVER, that was a good time!
The worst time I remember was in Calgary. The first time I got the lights shut off on me. They shut off the microphone too and it was the worst feeling in the world. First time I got gonged by Ram was pretty bad too. The second time I got used to it.


IF YOU WERE STRANDED ON A DESERT ISLAND AND YOU COULD ONLY BRING ONE COMIC WITH YOU, WHO WOULD IT BE?

Dulgar. It’d be Dulgar cause we’re roommates and we just laugh so much back and forth, it’s great. He’s the Romi to my Michelle.

NICE!

IF YOU COULD BRING BACK ONE COMIC FROM THE DEAD (TO BONE) WHO WOULD IT BE?

Pryor, cause I have a thing for black people. He’d also make fun of my little white penis in that voice of his. That’d be great.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE JOKE?

Dulgar’s, actually. He has this new joke about how the rodeo started after slavery because white people had too much rope left over.  That cracked me up! Anything George does onstage I just die. It’s just how he sees or takes a situation that has happened to us and crafts it into his own style. He’s my favourite comic on the scene without a doubt.

WHAT IS YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL?

I don’t want to be rich or anything. I just want to make enough money off comedy so I don’t have to work. I’ll know I made it then. I will still live in the same shitty apartment with Dulgar, we’ll still be broke as fuck, but I won’t have to work at my shitty collections job.

DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR UP AND COMING COMEDIANS?  

Don’t do it cause I’m out there!!!  Don’t do it cause Im’a murder you!

COMEDIC PHILOSOPHY?

Period blood is hilarious.

THESE ARE THE WORDS OF MORGAN O'SHEA.

My First Time

I have been a comedy voyeur for a very long time. I feel free when I am in the audience; anonymous and open minded as it were. There's nothing more satisfying to the human mind as to be able to relate with another on a subject of common yet unspoken feeling.

When you're in the audience and you agree whole-heartedly with the sentiment, you laugh harder because you know its the low down dirty truth! I love comedy for it's little truths. It is fundamentally a guy telling a story about a funny thing that happened on the way to the BLANK. It is life's foibles encouraging us to laugh through the pain.

I must say that I often have some ridiculous tale of hilarity from the week that gets repeated to the point that it becomes a joke. Recent example, I was on my way to work early one morning when I see a suspicious character standing against the fence. Of course I had to look, and as it turns out it was just your run of the mill pissing hobo. I got an eyeful of dickn'balls (spellcheck suggested 'duckbills' ahhhaaaa.) You just gotta laugh! My friends will say, Oh! That's a good joke! but No, that really happened just the way I told it. Its like now that I have announced the objectification of my comedic skills they just assume that I am formulating or testing new material all the time. I told y'all before, comedy is the only thing I'm serious about and life is seriously funny!

So I got  to thinking....I could do that! And since I am so grateful for the therapy comics have given me over the years, now that I am healthier I too can be a comedy interventionist. I began to write down idiocies and oddities and quickly found that I had a good amount of material. I was encouraged by my fellow comedy junkie Julian Hamara, who recently staged the smash hit cubo-futurist opera Victory Over the Sun. His incredible creative energy really spurred me to think bigger than just telling stories.

So I did it. I owe my big break to Bruno Ly and Bobby Forget, two hilarious dudes who run the open mic at House of Reggae Thursday's at 9 pm. I am grateful to you all, George Braithwaite, Morgan O'Shea, Kris Dulgar, Trevor Forestell...and so many more! You have inspired me so much in the past years. I like to think of you as big brothers of comedy....(has anyone coined the term BILF yet??? Sick.) They all congratulated me and encouraged me, though I know it's just that first time consolation. But it felt good! Infact I haven't seen the tape yet so I don't know what I said. It was like I went into the light and awoke to find a mic in my hand and everyone laughing. Who knows what I said. But I do know that I am hooked! In the words of Paul Baluyot, I have broken through my comedy hymen.

UNDER COVER AND OFF THE HOOK!!!!

Saturday night was the bomb dot com! Maybe I was just so used to seeing the old Too Much crew in a loft through 3 feet of smoke but this show felt ....real? Stripper poles and a DJ booth always get the party started right but there was also a serious energy to the whole event that I had never felt before (but then again, I don't get out much, that's why I blog.)

I admit to being wary about arriving at such a non-descript entrance with a home made skirt and a 20$ ticket in hand, but as soon as I climbed that stairway to heaven I was presented with 5 free beer tickets!!! KILLER! The club was really nice and open, it comfortably accommodated a band and a bunch o' comedians and all those wacky hipsters of the plateau. I also particularly enjoyed the leather bench seats against the walls. Those seats were chillin' and I like chillin'. Especially in the corner.

UNCLE BAD TOUCH opened up, which was a nice touch, it really got the crowd....opened up. (Like my incredible range of vocabulary?!?!? Then check me out at FAILBLOG.NOT)
PAPI, my trusty consort grabbed us a couple of beers which he would later use to decipher the ways of the white people. Though I am more of a P Funk kind of girl, I can dig their tunes man. I could hear that they had a sound and that the sound was good. I'm just saying I could have danced, it was that good.
The comedy ensued to a cacophonous crowd. The crowd was so loud it felt like a cloud that threatened to swallow the comics (I'm Seussin' dig it) But the comics fought back, cracking their cracks and the crowds fell into histrionics. BAM!

 On a serious tip,  it was the weirdest thing, everyone appeared to be talking all loud and shit  but they laughed on cue and they laughed a lot as if they were listening. Either the beer and band had set such a rude precedent as talking all the way through a stage performance or those god damned cellular telephones are truly ruining the minds of the youth!!! Now I'm going off on a tangent. Maybe I'm just not used to so many people in one space I forget that all that pre-fuck chatter is loud when its like 50 people at once, but for real, show some respect for like 30 minutes!

Despite having to shout it out, George and the boys killed it, like professionals, as always. They used the rowdyness to their advantage, matching the energy of the crowd. It really felt like a comedy show cause the crowd was so pumped. A shout out to Morgan O'Shea for his altercation with the Iranian, and to Steven Spinola for kickin' it mad quilty. Aw, yeah. This IS how slang begins. I really hope to see more shows here because the energy is awesome and its centrally located.

In the end, we only drank 2 out of 5 beers so I passed my tickets along and ran my ass to the metro like Cinderella at midnight. Except it was 1 am and my pumpkin was the last metro, plus  I was wearing heels so I really just hobbled.......WAIT, the point of the story is that I was so drunk off those 2 beers that I somehow managed to delete all of the pictures that I took, and THAT is why you have to use your imagination!

A note on finding your balls....

Let's get shit straight people, cause I likes to keep it real. I am fundamentally lazy. Maybe I should have taken up poetry or painting. At any rate, my blogging, like my credit card payments, is going to be irregular. Get over it. You don't care when I post, just that I do. It'll all be shit smeared on the wall of time anyway....
I'm getting over the lameness of having to admit that I blog. I guess I have been crossing my own boundaries lately; getting on stage for the first time, "putting myself out there" as it were. This is not a daddy didn't love me moment I'm just WHAT? that's right ya'll, keepin it real. A little context, my Pops is a musician. He was trying to make it big when my mom left him. My brother and I were like....like roadie kids, you know. To this day the smell of sound insulation and the feeling of music playing right through you makes me nostalgic. Yet, I feel that I have seen more gear, groupies and backstage antics than I care to remember. I guess I always shunned the 'business' cause you cant keep it all real all the time. You have to pimp a little bit of yourself and I may have a loud mouth but I'm humble. Lately though, Ooooo! I have become what I always was, TA-DOW!!! AWESOME!!!! It turns out that a childhood full of being introduced to strangers and carted around like a piece of equipment have taught me all that I need to succeed. Maybe (and we're getting deep here) this crazy thing they call comedy is the bizarro equivalent to my fathers music. They are both stage and microphone jobs, they both have gigs in bars a lot, and they will both completely consume and ruin your life if you pursue them! Thanks Dad, I guess I don't live up to the nickname "retard girl" after all.

Creating Philosophical Content

I love to laugh. As my other mother would say, "If we're not laughing, we're crying." I guess I have cried so much that somewhere along the way I just became a laugh junkie. Laughing has proven therapeutic qualities as I believe it scales away the layers of the everyday shit that sometimes gets stuck to the cosmic boot.  Its like dancing, sexing and getting shmammered. These things relieve the pressure of having to conform to this social construct. We are, after all, the greatest of the apes and not being free find ways to act out our instincts. Think of the noise a chimpanzee will make when it goes bananas!!!! Laughter. I'm so addicted to it that I can take almost nothing seriously.

It all began when a certain someone whose name kinda rhymes with LaughOtaku;) invited me to the loft. The legendary loft on St. Laurent that is no more. I got hooked right away, and for me, the Too Much show lived up to its name, too much awesome underground comedy, and too much smoke! I loved that place because I could get dressed up and still get to chill on the couch for a couple of hours and feel like you did something. The loft inspired me and really changed my life. I will be forever be grateful to George Hamilton Braithwaite and all the Too Much veterans, you remember who you are. The closing of that flash in time was devastating to all of us laugh junkies and left us scattered and without religion once again. But we were not without supply for long, for the 514 is rife with hilarity! I eventually found Bruno Ly and Bobby Forget at the House of Reggae (Thursday nights at 9pm). Though I once again have a regular fix, I think often about that first high. It is the standard to which all others will be henceforth be held. I wish so much we could get it back. Everything I do is out of grief for the loft. That is how I became No. 1 superfan otaku for laughs.

 I love amateur stand up because it is free and because it just has so much heart. I think its rawness opens a dialogue that we need to have. When we laugh about dirty shit, or things we know we shouldn't be laughing about, we are free. Its also OK to BOO! Anything to get the pipes going. Its all about expression. I feel safe in a society where we can grab the mic and dissent. May we say a prayer for Too Much and strive always to maintain that spirit of freedom. Comedy is the vitality of our consciousness bursting forth and rejoicing in the spoken word. Laughter is sacred to me because it delivers me from my earthly suffering. Word up.

WE ASKED

NAME? George Hamilton Braithwaite

STAGE NAME?  G Funk, The Notorious G.H.B., Nut fudge.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS CALL YOU? 

George. My father stopped calling me George at the age of 3 and for the rest of my life called me Sir.

WHAT DO YOU CALL YOURSELF?

I like to call myself a stand-up comic. There’s a lot of people out there who are comedians but they’re not stand up. (Eyebrows say, ya dig?)

WHAT’S YOUR SIGN?

I’m on a libra-virgo cusp. There’s a bit of duality in me.

WHAT IS YOUR PLACE OF BIRTH?

Sidcup, Kent, UK. I lived in Windsor, Detroit  and London.

WHAT’S YOUR DAY JOB?

I am a project manager for remote monitoring systems.

BEEN IN THE GAME SINCE? 

1997. I have a scar over my right eye that’s from a McGill improv show . From before I even started doing stand-up, in 95 or 96 when I was playing Geordie Laforge. I walked into the corner of the wall, started bleeding, went to the Royal Victoria, they glued it shut and I went back for the end of the show. I have scars from doing comedy. I’ve been doing this forever.

APROXIMATE NUMBER OF GIGS?

 I’m definitely over my first thousand mistakes.

WHAT IS THE WORST THING ABOUT BEING A COMEDIAN?

It’s lonely. It’s fun being in a band and being able to share the ups and downs. As a comedian, when you’re killing it, you’re working alone, you’re in hotels alone, it’s hard to have a family….It really is the loneliest sport.

BEST THING ABOUT BEING A COMEDIAN?

It’s so hard you feel like you’re in a super exclusive club.

IF YOU COULD BRING ONE COMIC BACK FROM THE DEAD (TO FUCK THEM) WHO WOULD IT BE? 

To fuck them??? (Unhesitatingly)  Lucille Ball. She’s one of the funniest people ever, I dig redheads and she was the ultimate Hollywood hustler. ‘The Big Trailer’ with Desi Arnez, it’s absolutely ridiculous and is some of the best the best physical comedy ever done.

WHAT IS THE BEST COMEDY JOINT IN TOWN AND WHY?

Oh, Jimbo’s man. Comedy Works. It feels like a real comedy club. Everyone’s been there. Louis CK played that place regularly.

COMEDY DREAM?

I just want to be able to produce big stages. Everyday we’re getting better at this independent production game. I’m learning the skills to be able to put the teams together that can manage larger risks and bigger budgets. Bigger, bigger, bigger stages. As big of a stage as I can produce.

COMEDY PHILOSOPHY?

Work harder than anyone else.

ADVICE FOR UP AND COMERS?

Work harder than me.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE JOKE?

Gilbert Gottfried at the Grammy’s some years ago had this masturbation bit. “If masturbation was a crime then I’d be Al Capone!” (Doing the Gottfried) “Stay away from his right hand!!!  Its very powerful.”  I’ve never laughed harder than at a Billy Connolly joke about a fart at the dinner party. He describes it like Errol Flynn in those old pirate movies who would jump down and dig his knife into the sail and cut the entire way down. Best description of a fart ever.

WHAT MAKES YOU FUNNY?

I’m being myself onstage. It takes forever to be yourself. The more I strip away about what people think, the more I become 100% me. If everyone is just themselves its unique, it may not be funny but it’s interesting. And it may not be interesting but it will be interesting to watch.

THUS SPOKE GHB

George will be hosting UNDER COVER Saturday May 7th at 10 PM. 3519 St. Laurent.  $20