So Julian and I were kickin' it comedywise the other night when the un-funniest thing happened! We were at a club that will go unnamed for dignity's sake, when in walks a big old loud ass white chick with the most abused lookin' skinny black dude you ever did see. You all know what I'm talking about!!! I'm not trying to reinforce stereotypes here but there are some people on this earth that just is what they is. Ya dig? No, she didn't have hoop earrings, fake nails or any other accoutrements you might expect. She did however seem to have the biggest beef with her boyfriend. He was so drunk, he was like a fighter who having lost steps out of the ring weaving and wobbling. She kept bitching at him and we all quickly perceived that the impending doom of having to get up on THAT night after night, would cause any many to drink in mass quantities.
At about the middle of the show, here comes hefty settling in behind us with a drink in her hand while her tragic counterpart remains at the bar. The host, who it must be noted is dark of complexion, seeing this begins to bate this woman. I believe it started with "Look at you, you look soooo happy!" to which she replied "Look at YOU, you're a fine motherfucker!" At this point, anyone who had seen that drama walk through the door was probably dry heaving in their throats as I was.
Then he said "I see you got yourself a black man." The answer she gave? You bet! "Yeah, I'm dating a N@gger!" Like all loud and shit! She then whips her head round to her victim and continues "Yeah you, you lazy n@*#^r !!!!blah blah blah.....something about leaving half drunk pitchers at the bar?????" The cringing was unbearable!!! I don't know how the rest of the room reacted because I was so ashamed I didn't want to make eye contact with another living soul. The host was, what can only be described as, DISTURBED and I'm not sure he knew quite how to handle it. I finally begged him to tell me some jokes because that shit wasn't funny at all. The following comedians killed it and we all laughed harder because we needed it. Eventually the drama left out the back terrasse but continued on steadily.
Now here is my judgement! Hear this! And don't give me any bleeding heart shit about not judging people. If you want to bring your personal drama out into public, fucking up the whole vibe, then you make your business my business and I am heartless like Donald Trump when it comes to my business. Now it didn't seem befitting to get into it with this broad therefore I air this grievance the geek way.
I am deeply offended big fat white lady!!!!!! I don't care how many black people you think you are friends with, how much you love Bob Marley or how many times you been run through, you CANNOT say that word. You may get away with n!gga, nyuga or even add 'my knickers' to the end of a sentence for no reason at all, but you cannot say THAT word. There is something about the 'er' that is like a serated knife, it cuts so deep. It reminds me of my best friends mom, as a white bystander, when she shouted that word with the extra 'er', I knew she was in real big trouble! You know if one black person calls another by that name, it's bad. You have to respect that this word above all other dirty words has a historical legacy so profoundly traumatic it cannot adequately be countered with such lame terms as cracker, honky or pinky...though pinky is kinda harsh.
Furthermore, you snafarglamammatron, you give all of us a bad name because you cant love another human being while objectifying them with such words. You add one more tick in the column for 'white chicks who date black guys because they wish they were black.' And if you think you can just assume another persons racial identity because you rub your bacons together, think again! You can sympathize all you want but you will never know the dark truths. Infact your racist tirade pretty much ensures your complete ignorance to the whole point of unity and mixing. That shit may be acceptable in your trailer or overpass or wherever you crawled out of but its not cool to me.
I give this a 5/5 for sending us back to the stone age one drunken domestic at a time.
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